Recently in On The Rag Category

Oversized clutches are handy but this is "handy" on a whole other level. Literally handy, many many hands with rings and bracelet on to boot. Wow. This pushes the outer boundaries of ugly. I might have to take back everything good ever said about Carlos Falchi. Only the hands are of python, the rest is textured cracked leather, which is an interesting choice because they usually use snake or crocodile on lotion commercials to represent dryness. This is not even funny and costumey for special dress up occasions like Halloween, it's just bad. Maybe this is the "Why can't we all get along" version of patchwork to work in different patterns, colors and textures. But I am being lenient and kind flexing all my might to find an explanation and bright side to something that defies all rationale. At Bergdorf Goodman for pre-order, $1510. Thankfully, this is not allowed to be sold in California.

As a part the Summer Edition 2009 capsule collection, Sonic Youth singer Kim Gordon collaborated with Marni to create bags and tee-shirt with her abstract prints, like the one on this canvas balloon bag. Is it abstract? Looks like a puppy to me. I know she is a famous singer but is she a designer too? I guess any artist can delve into any medium these days and they do. I don't know how I feel about this, I just can't take the pushing of the envelope on things that are good just the way they are. Oh no, that was total old people thinking. But let me get to some points that do not reflect my age or personal digressions. It is canvas and is unlined but is still $1000, sure it is much less than the leather balloon in the same size for $1800 but still I don't want to throw away bag. White canvas, think about it. It will get so gross that the abstract print will blend in with all the dirt. Good or bad, you decide. At Marni boutiques and Marni online.

This is the Terminator Siamese twin clutches. They are two smaller clutches stuck together to make a bigger circus freak of a bag. Separately, they would make cute clutches or even cuter coin purses but as an ensemble, they should have named it the Koo-Koo bag. I suppose it is different but in a way that is trying so hard that it becomes absurd. Conceptually, the two separate compartments might come in handy, one side for cosmetics and the other for money and cards but that incremental convenience is not worth looking like a fool. At Net-a-Porter for $1530, a high price to pay to be mistaken for a crazy person.

Guess how much this one is? £484GBP/$696 USD. (And no, this is not an April Fool's Joke!)  Okay so it's made of patent leather instead of plastic but still, it is way expensive even if you want to use it for a fun beach bag to hold you child' toys in. Not a bad idea to use for the beach, actually.  No sand will stick inside as it will all fall through the cracks.  Miu Miu Cut out Basket Bag at Net-a-Porter.com

What do you think?  Snob, Slob, or for the Fruits? 

Do you have $6,380 to blow? That's how much the Wishbone shopper from Alexander McQueen will set you back. And no, there is no crocodile trim but you can tell that a lot of labor was wasted on this fringed mess. I don't hate the bag, just parts of it. Let's be sweet and discuss what I love about it. I love the wishbone rivets, the basket weave leather, and the whip stitched top edge-- it all looks so luxurious and well made. But the awful shaggy fringe destroys any chance of this bag ever seeing the light of day on my arms. This sucker is also huge at 52cm/20" wide. I do like McQueen's attitude of let them eat cake. Why should he care if the world is in a global wide recession? His job is to design and stir our senses; figuring out how to pay for it is our problem. Alexander McQueen Wishbone shopper at Net-a-Porter.com

I love Givenchy but even if you are a bank robber or if you just found a bag of money, this would still be a bad buy. This camera case encased in glass crystals is cute and kind of cool, it would be really fab if it were $200 (but as a camera case would still be steep). It is 5" x 8" which is too big for your average compact camera so this must be meant as a clutch of some sort, which only make the even more useless. The zipper goes all the way around the top and off the sides making it like a man bag, adding to the drawbacks. I am certain this was conceived during better economic times when success was measured by excess but now it's all about being savvy. If you found this at a thrift store for $10, you would be bragging to all your friends. "Showing off" is now all about how little you've spent to still be chic. Which is kind of exciting and challenging because it isn't really interesting just walking into the most expensive boutiques and throwing down a wad of cash to look good. If you bought this, you would almost be embarrassed to disclose the price, which is $3620, which I am still having a hard time digesting. At Barneys New York.

I am like schizophrenic when it comes to Prada but I am not the one to blame. Like, what is happening with this bag? The giant drawstring straps are super distracting and it doesn't even match the color of the bag. First of all, drawstring are good for pajamas, bad for bags. But apparently I am totally alone. I wasn't even going to touch on this bag but this is the best selling Prada bag this season!!??! So, I am putting it out there out of sheer confusion. I better keep my day job and give up any inclination of being a buyer because I would pass on all the "best sellers". What could possibly be so appealing? In this shopping climate, designers have to really put their best foot forward and come up with some damn good stuff! But this? I just don't get it. At Saks Fifth Avenue for $1450.

Such a cute tote for the summer except why did they ruin it with the stupid "SBC" cutout on the strap? I hate it when designers ruin a perfectly good bag with something seemingly minor but in fact is a deal breaker. This muted white and cream tote is exactly what I need for the summer. It is also big so I can travel, go to the gym, do all sorts of things with it, even carry all of my tots' junk (currently, my bag is full of My Little Pony crap). I suppose it is not super glaring but still, being that this is See by Chloe and not Chloe, I don't see the point in advertising that fact. Besides, it seems that all the restaurants in LA these days are owned by the SBE group so that's adding to my aggravation since that is what I think of when I see this acronym. Ironically, all the other cutout details are lovable and subtle, especially on the handles. But I will not budge on this, unless they come out with another one without those letters there, I am not getting it. At Net-a-Porter for $840. Great price too, too bad.

So tell me my snobs, Snob or Slob?