Recently in On The Rag Category

This reminds me of those totally cheesy drawings you see at those old school hair salons. Or those useless books they give you so you can show your stylist how you want your hair. I worry about those people who actually choose from those books. This totally throws me off because Jimmy Choo has been doing such amazing bags lately. Like the Saba Bag, a welcomed departure from the usual heavy hardware. How does the Face bag even go in the same collection as the other bags? I really want to know the meaning behind this. Have there been secret meetings between the people at Choo and the people at Marc Jacobs? I don't even know who would use this bag. George Michael? You know, so he can reminisce of his hay days cavorting with these models. And because it is so 80's. At Saks for $975.

From Bag Snob Tina: Kelly is not a fan of Contemporary Art and does not know the history behind the bag. It is designed by Richard Phillips, a pop art painter known for painting exaggerated women faces (up to 100 inches high!). He often depicts the artificiality of perfection in the fashion world through these images. I am a fan of his work and in college I made dozens of similar paintings of faces like this. This bag is like the Prada Fairy bag to me, a whimsical piece of art to be collected by art and/or bag collectors alike. I wouldn't carry the face bag around but wouldn't mind having it in my collection to be displayed in my office alongside the Fairy bag.

We are hot and cold on many designers but this is ridiculous! This carnage is disastrous and the worst part is that it is "Extra Large" as if we can't get the full magnitude in a smaller version. The description of extra large is actually understated, the bag is 20" by 11", as in almost 2 feet, like the size of my 7 month old daughter. I can put her and my cat in this thing. Fendi has never been on my lust list, the only things that ever catch my eyes are the plain bags like the B Mix and of course the recent giant baguette clutch, but this is why. When they go all out with their bags, it is way too much! Just watched Project Runway (yes, I'm behind) but like Tim Gunn said to Christian, "This is a lot of look". And eerily familiar....multi colored fringey zebra - Fruit Striped Zebra Gum!!! Remember those? They were my favorite gum because they have 5 juicy flavors =) There is one thing going for it though, there is a twist-lock that allows you to remove the buckles. You know, in case you think the buckles make the bag look too busy. At eLuxury for $5,420, yeah I'm not kidding about the price. I think they call that adding insult to injury.

I am all for creativity and self expression but this is really just an insult to our intelligence. Let's see, make a cheap bag out of canvas (cost: $10 for bag+$3 for markers), mark it up 1000%, and call it artistic! Fendi has run out of ideas and is now asking us to do their work, and pay for it!?!?!? Don't get me wrong, I adore the Fendi Baguette and still have several in my collection I will never part with. A beaded one, a natural cowhide with stone clasp and white stitching, and a shimmering metallic one with embellished details. My point is, I love my Baguettes for their unique design and beauty. And even if I had Pollack induced fantasies of creating psychic chaos, I certainly wouldn't do it on a canvas bag with magic markers (okay, they're "Pantone" markers, whatever!) and I definitely would not pay $1,300 for the "privilege". Actually, I would only buy this if Karl himself would agree to do a caricature of me on the bag titled "Bag Snob". There, I've put it out there, someone call the Kaiser and ask him if he's game. At Neiman Marcus for Pre-Order. No need to rush, this won't sell out anytime soon. But enough of what I think. What about you? Any urges to Color Me Mine?

I grew up with lots of brothers and male cousins, which means I know almost every warrior game out there. At the risk of sounding like a computer nerd (and ruining my glamorous Bag Snob image), I have to admit I am an expert and Grandmaster (game lingo) at Ultima Online, War Craft, Age of Empires I & II (plus the Age of Kings) and many others (guys are always in awe of my ability to kick up a game of AOE as skillfully as I can through the aisles of Neiman Marcus). I even beat Kelly's husband (our tech nerdie) at some of these games! But no matter how many GrandMaster warriors I master, I would never, ever, buy myself the Burberry warrior bag (see above). You see, a woman wants to look beautiful no matter how good she is at beating men at their games. Plus we do not feel the need to wear all of our medals on display. Now men, they will wear every single medal they've ever won (even from Boy Scout days) on their suits or uniforms whenever they can. Which makes me think the Warrior Bag from Burberry is really made for guys because what woman would want to be seen in this mess? Burberry Metal Studs Warrior bag$3,195 at Net a porter.

I just want to weigh in on this bag to dispel the accusation that we love anything python. We hated the B bag so as you can see here the B hobo is doubly bad. The oversize buckle sits stupidly in the middle of this unoriginal hobo. Why does it have to be so big? It’s awkward and unbalanced, like the B belt - who the hell is going to wear that and look proportionate? It’s like 2 feet high so you need at least a 6 foot torso. Seriously, Zena the Warrior Princess would have a hard time pulling that look off and could probably use it to slay dragons or whatever it is that she slays. I just don’t understand the obsession with this big buckle. I expect to receive hate emails tomorrow for talking about this because I know people who love the belt, but hey, that’s the price I pay to be a blabber mouth. So back to the bag, I find it to be an imprudent use of precious exotic. I am going to start a new organization called PAWS, People Against the Wasteful use of Skins. And we will cite bags like this as not deserving of exotic skins. I guess if you love the hobo you can get it in leather and look like a mindless slave to fashion but please save the exotic for better things. At Bergdorf Goodman for $3520.

I will say that this bag on a bag is quite intriguing and but it is almost comical. Has he sunk so low as to have to resort to gimmicks? The bag itself lacks any aesthetic appeal whatsoever, the vintage style mesh lace frame clutch juxtaposed with the austere work tote fights each other and does not bring harmony to my eyes. I have a real problem looking at this - it is irreconcilable and screwy. I can't really explain the big "B", it just adds to the craziness and is making me cross eyed trying to take in the whole thing. And it's not even that original an idea, to boot. I am all for being different but first and foremost I require beauty and this thing is not. But having said all that, as a tote, it is probably very functional. Say, if you are the administrative assistant at the Moulin Rouge, this would be perfectly appropriate and you can benefit from the practicality of a tote and have a touch of frill to fit in with your co-workers. But if you are the admin assistant at the Moulin Rouge you probably can't afford this unless you are moonlighting. At Saks for $2100.

I can see people getting excited about this bag. The Gucci boston is so popular and there are those who like to buy the same thing in different variations. Well, this certainly is different. With all the origami appliques stars and flowers, you can say this is equipped with plenty of bells and whistles. Just don't wear this with a loose knit sweater, you'll be like that Weezer song. But there is no excuse to ever use a bag that lacks in style to this degree of crudeness. I feel like Gucci has lost its appeal but then I look around and I see people in love with their GG logo bags and I am angry that I can be so wrong. To me, Gucci is very 80's, the bad 80's. And hello, can they please come up with something else other than the bamboo handles? But again, I must be wrong because I pass by a Gucci boutique and people are oohing and ahhing over them. A really good friend of mine recently bought a Gucci with the bamboo handle, she was so excited she drove all the way to my house to show me. I had to feign excitement but inside my head I was screaming, "WHY WHY WHY????" To my dismay, they did come up with something other than bamboo handles and GG logo, this thing. The Gucci Joy Boston Bag for $1950.

Whoaaah!!! This is like a gory horror movie scene for bag lovers. A patchwork of dead animals arranged in a assailing swirl of repulsion. I keep getting emails about the Fendi bag assault this season but this has to be the absolute worst thing ever. Like, of all seasons that ever were. I am disturbed by the hairy patches of ponyhair that is arbitrarily shrewn about along with the big and small always tacky double F canvas. I am really baffled by the obsession with patchwork, even Hermes has a patchwork bag which we are not happy about. I go to the mall and all I see are people with patchwork Coach bags in every size and design variation. I cannot believe, or I am unwilling to believe, that this look is attractive to people. That just is beyond my comprehension. And I can't even make excuses for those who just have to buy whatever bags they can afford when Hermes, Fendi, LV, etc. are making (and selling quickly) patchwork clutter f$#% eyesores. Seriously, vomit is more attractive than this. At Net-A-Porter for $1860.

The Multicolor weave tote from Prada would not be so bad if you are color blind... or a clown. Made of strips of nylon gabardine in the season's brightest colors (all of them) and trimmed in napa leather, this is the classic Prada tote bag shape which Kelly and I both own in black from the '90s and still look back fondly upon. It is terribly sad what Prada bags have become in the last few years. At least it is only 11" wide, can you imagine if it were huge to boot? I actually know a young man who can get away with this look- he walked in my house wearing red and pink plaid shorts and a striped shirt not too long ago and though I laughed and made fun of him, he was confident that he looked cool even though he looked crazy to me. So I guess what I am saying is if you are an adorable 17 year old you too can pull this off.

I read recently in the New York Times that the "It" bag market is a big balloon much like the condo market in Miami and is ready to burst, if this is true, this bag may just be the end of the $7 billion dollar bag industry in the United States! Which may be Miuccia Prada's plan all along. $1,450 at Saks Fifth Avenue.

I have always had romantic (and somewhat delusional) notions of Gypsies, I imagined the life of a Gypsy to be glamorous and adventurous and the idea of waking up in a new city each week especially appealed to me (which I practiced throughout my 20's) until I had a child. Though I no longer crave the roaming lifestyle of a Gypsy, I still love what I consider "Gypsy" style accessories; a big stack of clanging gold bangles, long flowing skirts with layers of delicate chains around the waist, ruffled tops tipped just so on the shoulders to show a bit of glowing skin, and of course big gold hoop earrings. However, I have never, in all the years of being fascinated with Gypsies, imagined a Gypsy bag to look like this. Hoochie... yes, but Gypsy... no. Tacky '80s... yes, but Gypsy... no. I think you are getting my point. Some of you will balk at me and say it is creative, as in take Britney Spears' red lace tap pants and turn it in to a bag? Uh... No thanks. 13" x 8.5", $1950 - Dior Handbags at eLuxury.