Recently in On The Rag Category

I love Zagliani. The exotic skins they use are top notch and the construction is flawless. Total investment worthy. But this new One Handle bag has some fatal flaws, even though it is still gorgeous and has that same Zagliani look. The buckle is just for show, it sits under the zipper, which flips the top open. Which means, you can never use this bag without zipping it up completely. And it does not even open all that well because you have to bend the top completely over and out of the way of the interior. There is no way you can do this without setting the bag down somewhere or you will be fumbling with both hands. It does not ever make sense to make a bag this high maintenance. You almost need an assistant with you at all times. Sure, it looks great when closed, so I suppose it's great for someone like Queen Elizabeth who just walks around with a bag but never needs to actually go into her bag. And at this price, it needs to be perfection. It almost doesn't matter that the skin is so incredibly lush with perfectly beautiful scales. At Browns Fashion for $18,850.

Are we out of skins to use for bags? You know, like leather, crocodile, python-- what, no good anymore? So now we have to resort to road kill? I mean it'd make sense for Davy Crockett to utilize skunk fur (to repel other animals from his food stash?) during the three years he roamed the country as a trapper but why would a girl like me want to carry this? The fact that it is described as soft skunk fur is beyond creepy. I have a question, does it stink? Cuz the bag design sure does. It's along the same idea as the uber popular peekaboo tote but is smaller and has a cross body strap. The bag looks stiff and awkward as it is but that giant skunk tail sticking out of nowhere just makes it worse. Fendi Skunk Fur Bag $1970 at Saks.

Wow, where do I even begin? First of all, believe it or not, this is Prada. The rest of Fall so far has been really great, back to basic and NORMAL. I guess Fall 2 is where they let Miuccia loose and allow her to do whatever she wants as a reward for designing boring bags that sell. This feedbag looking thing is crackled leather with fringes adorned with studs and beads. The Lone Ranger uses this as a snack bag for Tonto. Unless you own a horse, miniature horse are ok too, I really hope you don't strap this around your wrist and show up to happy hour. At Barneys New York, for...are you ready for this second offense...$1395.

What I'm about to share with you will probably make you gag so if you have a weak stomach, go on to the next blog entry.  You'd think this bag from Carmina Campus would gross me out, right?  But it actually makes me hungry. As a kid in Taiwan, I lived for snails fried in hot peppers.  They were sold at movie theaters and we ate them instead of pop corn (had to pick out the snail with a toothpick).  Hey, it's no weirder than eating escargot in garlic butter :)  Seriously, this bag reminds me of that delicious treat that I have not had in years.  Makes me want to fly home to Asia to buy a bag or two.   CARMINA CAMPUS - MOMO SHOULDER BAG $667 at Luisa via Roma.

Everyone slips up once in a while, even the great ones perched high in fashion kingdom. But when they fall, they fall even harder than others.  I love my Alexander McQueen houndstooth fitted jacket, it looks almost exactly like this bag.  Which makes me think this is one of the sample jackets spruced up with a bit of patent leather trim.  The entire bag is puzzling, what's with the cone shaped bra like bottoms?  A tribute to Madonna?  Some people like the idea of wooly fabric bags, but the contrasting pattern is dizzy and distracting not to mention EXPENSIVE-- $2,000 for left over scraps of fabric!?!?  A major thumbs down in snob world.  Check out Alexander McQueen Houndstooth Tote here.

Overheard on the Alapaca ranch: "Have you seen what Marni did to your fur?" "What? Who's Marni, is she that old bat down the hill who comes up weekly to steal fur?" "God, you are so base. Marni! Hello, Marni! Like one of the coolest Italian brands, ever!" "Oh, in that case, no I have not seen what they've done to my fur.  And I am not base. I am the pride of the herd, you're just jealous because I have fluffy platinum fur and yours is the color of dishwater." "Okay, whatever. They made your fur into a bag, who does that? Waste precious Alpaca fur on a bag!?!?  Do they know how long it takes us to grow our fur back!?!? We are meant for coats, long, gorgeous, butter soft coats!  You don't see them humiliating cashmere like this!" "Coat, bag, yarn, blah, same thing.  What do I care what they do with it."  "Have you no pride?  Of course you should care!  Not only is your fur a bag, it's a giant, furry ugly bag!  I don't think they even combed it!"  "Again, don't care.  By the way, how do you know the fur was mine?" "Well, I recognized the curls, of course. You have very distinctive curls, that center cowlick just won't stay down."  Marni Alpaca Tote $2,440 at Net-a-porter.com   
 

I have been an avid Hermes bag collector for almost 13 years and continually educate myself on the skins, the styles and colors each season. I was always told that Hermes stays away from python skin (not snob worthy enough for bags but Hermes is making python shoes next season!) so imagine my surprise when I came upon this photo of Karina Smirnoff in a... python birkin!!! It's obviously fake, the python is a dead giveaway of course but the shape of the bag is a bit off, too. The squareness is similar to that of the HAC but the handles are too long to be the HAC. So I concluded this to be a fake. But before pointing fingers, I sent it to several different Hermes boutiques and everyone agrees with me, FAKE! As a point of reference, I'm including a photo of an authentic birkin below. Sofia Vergara with the Gris Touterelle in 30cm (I have the same! Love the dove gray!).

Photo: Wenn

Woah, who knew yellow and python could look like a chintz pillow? And who'd think it'd be okay to stick cheap nylon shoulder straps on a $4,200 bag!?!? I guess that would be none other than Marc Jacobs. I generally like Katherine Heigl's style but a shiny blue cocktail dress is not the first thing I'd think of wearing the bag with. Was it the only bag she traveled with? It's just so blindingly bright and... spotty. I think my real problem with it is not the color or pattern though, it's that it looks really cheap yet is outrageously priced. Nylon? Really? I'm perplexed. The Memphis Python tote from Marc Jacobs is at Barneys New York here.

The Brits have a strange sense of style at times, so strange that it's beyond my comprehension.  Perhaps it's the British homage to Pocahontas for saving Captain John Smith in 1608.  Still, ugly beyond reason.  Am I missing something here? All of my research come up with sites that quote how rare and amazing these god awful bags are and how difficult it is to find them. Note to Blush B-Lush-- please, keep hiding, I don't want you any where near me. Even the name is strange, sounds more like some sort of cosmetic brand pushing soap bombs. But I'd like to remain open minded so please enlighten me if you love these bags!  See BLUSH B-LUSH - SMALL STUDDED FRINGE TOP HANDLE here and BLUSH B-LUSH - LARGE FRINGE SHOULDER BAG here.

This is like a frontal backpack! You know, my dad would be really into this. He loves wearing vests because it has a bunch of pockets for all his stuff. It works for him but then again, he does not actually care about what he looks like, he is just in it for the convenience. If you DO care about how you look, then you probably aren't going to look like a fool just to have your hands free. You have to be a pretty rockin' hot chick to pull this off and look like you've got it going on. I'm thinking edgy, tall, thin, long legs and stilettos. The only thing I can think of for this vest bag would be the farmer's market but the leather would make me like I just parked my Harley somewhere. And then where would I put all my berries?
Alexander Wang Bianca Vest Bag at Shopbop for $850.